(crime scene)

Detective: Well what do you think Mittens? Fourth body this month, same characteristics. Sliced from chin to toe, his insides scooped up, ground out, and then... put back in.

Mittens Meow meow meow meow meow.

Detective I agree, there's no denying it now. We've got a serial killer on our hands.

Mittens Meow meow meow

Detective Wait what? Mittens no, AH AWWWWW!

Mittens Mmmeow meow meow meow.

Detective Aw for the love of God, a corpse is not a box Mittens.

Mittens Meow meow meow.

Detective Aww, this is, so unsanitary. That's evidence Mittens, you're rolling around in gooey smelly evidence.

Mittens Meow meow meow meow?

Detective Tha-, no I'm not in the mood for spaghetti!

Mittens Meow meow.

Detective Well you get what you want, I'm not hungry. My goodness.

(Police Department)

Mittens Meow meow MEOW!

Joe Joe's Italian, how can I help you?

Mittens MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!

Joe Whoa whoa slow down, what's the problem?

Mittens Meow meow MEOW! Meow meow meow meow meow meow!

Joe Okay so your order's wrong.

Mittens MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!

Joe Sorry, sorry about that. I'll be happy to replace it for you. I'll even throw in some free garlic knots.

Mittens Meow meow, meow meow!

Detective Mittens, a new body turned up!

Mittens Meow meow?

Detective Yes, same as the others.

Mittens Meow meow.

(park)

Detective As you can see we found this one fresh. It looks like we're getting- oh no Mittens, ah AWWWW.

Mittens Meow meow meow.

Detective If you keep doing this I'm gonna stop taking you.

(Police Department)

Mittens Grrr...

Joe Hello Joe's Itali-

Mittens MEOW meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.

Joe Wrong again, are you, are you sure?

Mittens Meow meow, meow meow meow meow.

Joe I, I'm very sorry, I'm not sure how this happened.

Mittens Meow meow, meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow, meow meow, meow meow meow, meow MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!

Joe Now hold on a minute. Those kinda threats are way outta line. I'm calling the police. (hangs up phone and re-calls)

Mittens Meow meow?

Joe Hello Police Department?

Mittens Meow meow meow meow meow.

Joe Yeah I'd like to file a report, I just had my life threatened, ...and my mother's sexual decency brought into question.

Mittens Meow meow. Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.

Joe Well thank you. When should I expect the officer?

Mittens Meow, meow meow meow.

Joe That's perfect, I'll be here. (hangs up phone)

Mittens Meow meow meow meeeooowww.

(Joe's Italian)

Joe Oh hey thanks for coming. I'm sure it's nothing but, you know I take threats very seriously.

Mittens (in disguise) Meow meow meow, meow meow?

Joe No I don't recognize you, should I? You eat here a lot or something?

Mittens (in disguise) Meow meow, MEOW! (takes off disguise)

Joe Uhhh no, sorry still nothing. I'm actually usually in the back.

Mittens Hisssssss!

(Police Department)

Detective Mittens I got your message, what's the, whoa! Who's the dead guy?

Mittens Meow meow meow meow.

Detective The serial killer? But I, I just caught the serial killer an hour ago. Local accountant, tried to write off the time spent gutting people as a business expense.

Mittens Mmmmeow meow meow meow meow.

Detective Ahh your right. Your guy must've been an accomplice than. Hey isn't that Joe from the Italian place down the street? Why does his throat look like it's been clawed open?

Mittens Mmmeow meow meow meow?

Detective Yes I suppose suicide makes sense. Couldn't live with the guilt. Well good work Mittens... you scary fucking cat.

Notes

Detective Mittens The Crime Solving Cat(03:51)
35 views