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Written and performed by Zach Sherwin. Directed by Ian Brownell. Beatbox by Justin Zullo, music produced by Upryz.
Featuring Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) as himself and Hayley Marie Norman (@xohayleymarie) as Miss Green Eyes.
Producers - Brad Simpson (Steel Wool Entertainment and Media, www.steelwoolmedia.com), Ian Brownell, and Zach Sherwin.
Editor - Ian Brownell Director of Photography - Jess Dunlap 1st AC - Matt Nurre Gaffer - Mike Lippi Opening sequence DP - Ian Brownell
Special thanks: Jon Berkas, Ali Seraj and Isotope Networks.
Extra special thanks: Roseanne Blair, Ben Broidy, Jenny Broidy, Maura Brown, Maria Ciampa, Laura Clark, Charlene Conley, Chris Fleming, Petey Gibson, Amy Hawthorne, Laura Hayden, Rhiannon Houch, Virginia Jones, Victoria Murray, Zach Ramey, Brodie Reed, Tommy Rico, Deb Ruiz, Monika Scott, and Tim Vargulish.
LYRICS: I'm at the club scene where I met Miss Green Eyes She said, "I can tell by the size of your schnoz That you're Zach Sherwin, and I'm totally TWI!" I said, "Oh, you're a Nas fan also? That's great! We have so much in common! We're clearly soulmates who were fated to date!" She said "Hold up and wait. I'm flattered -- you're coming in too fast and hot though. You need to be more legato gelato." I said, "What? Legato gelato? That's a slang term whose meaning I do not know! But I'm intrigued by the sound of it..." She said "Well let me break it down a bit. You might know the word 'legato' if you've ever studied music before If you see it written down on a musical score Then the composer is directing you To play or sing all the notes smoothly and connected to the others With no breaks in between Now let me demonstrate a little bit and you can see what I mean."
She sang, "Laaa, laaa, laaa: that's legato. Not, la-la-la; that's staccato. The opposite of what legato is. And don't tell me that you don't know what gelato is!"
I said, "Yes, I sure do, it's a dessert That you gotta keep ice cold in the freezer And now I'm no longer dazed and confused Now I think I understand the phrase that you used. Does it mean 'keep it chill?'" She said "Yep." I said "Thought so. Smooth and cool! Legato gelato!"
Once again, it's legato gelato! Smooth like legato, cool like gelato! It's my new catchphrase, it's my new buzzword, it's my new motto: Legato gelato.
And check this out: take the word "legato." Now take the "l" and the "g" and switch the two spots And look what you've got. Whoa! "Legato" TURNS INTO "gelato!"
I said "Ok, I'm taking things slow and I get the lingo Can I give you a ring?" "No," she said, "I don't think so. You came on too strong, I felt smothered and I need a loverman Who won't let me have the upper hand." I said, "Nah, miss, you got it wrong. You're a character I made up for my 'Legato Gelato' song. You don't exist if I don't imagine you. How 'bout that for high status, boo?" She said, "Damn! Now THAT was legato gelato! Way to step it up with that macho bravado! Take me home now, you wild stallion, But first do a victory lap rap as a finale, hon."
I said, "Okay, I'm smooth and glossy, And frosty as autumn in Oslo When the temperature drops as low As the cost of shopping at Costco Fluid and easy and keeping it cool Like I'm eating a soup of gazpacho 'Cause I do it legato with a scoop of gelato."
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Zach Sherwin (born July 1, 1980 [age 36]) is a professional rapper who independently releases...