Link Gets a Job at Gwonam's Restaurant So He Can Earn Enough Money to Buy a Playstation 3 is a Youtube Poop created by WalrusGuy, which has since been copied onto numerous other channels for either purposes of getting views or preserving it after the banning/hacking of WalrusGuy's youtube account. In the video, Link desires to own a Playstation 3 and his efforts to earn enough rupees for it are showcased to end in failure. Hints of a large-scale conspiracy in the kingdom of Hyrule are present, but as WalrusGuy has announced his retirement from Youtube Poop, the general public may never know the full truth behind this and it will be left to the imagination of us all. In the video, themes of racism, alpha dog leadership, the mistreatment of the labor force, and illiteracy are touched on.

Quick SummaryEdit

**Link Gets a Job at Gwonam's Restaurant So He Can Earn Enough Money to Buy a Playstation 3**
	; Link Gets a Job at Gwonam's Restaurant So He Can Earn Enough Money to Buy a Playstation 3
	Video #0000
Link:	watch
Rating:	Unknown
User:	WalrusGuy
Date Added:	Unknown
Length:	01:50
Description:	Link wants to buy a Playstation 3, but he does not have rupees, so he decided to get a job at Gwonams Squadallah Burger to buy one. Unfortunantly, no one bought anything there because they only had burgers.
Category:	Comedy
Tags:	{Link Gets Job at Gwonam's Restaurant So He Can Earn Enough Money to Buy Playstation thelengedaryhero6900 }
Views:	00004242
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Morshu (The Shopkeeper) offers a PlayStation 3 Video Game Console to Link, but promptly insults him when learning Link does not have enough rupees for it. In spite of The King suggesting Link get a Wii (to which Link can not use the controller), Link gets a job at Gwomam's restaurant (Squadallah Burger) to earn the money. Over the course of five business days, Link is shown failing to sell anything, as Squadallah Burger sells only Burgers and all potential customers desired something else. At least four of the potential customers proceeded to eat at Duke Onkled's Diner, which housed a variety of foods. Link is then told that there are no rupees to pay him with, to the sadistic amusement of The King and Princess Zelda.

Detailed AnalysisEdit

Morshu (The Shopkeeper) is attempting to sell a PlayStation 3 Video Game Console to an unseen buyer, soon revealed via voice to be Link. Link expresses great interest, but Morshu reminds him that he must have enough rupees. Link does not, and Morshu calls him "A little piece of poop." (See Themes - Racism)

Back at Hyrule Castle, Link alludes to contemplating suicide, for his desire for a PS3 is so great. The King remarks that "This Wii is what all true warriors strive for" (See Themes - Alpha Dog Leadership), but Link claims to be unable to use the motion sensor controller. Zelda tells him to get a job in order to earn the rupees. (See Themes - The Mistreatment of the Labor Force)

Link asks Gwomam for a job at his restaurant, Squadallah Burger, manning the drive-thru window. Gwomam makes the comment that "Only I can hire Link" (See Themes - Conspiracy), but Link does not seem to notice the slightly suspicious wording of the statement and takes the job. On the outside wall of Squadallah Burger, there is a sign that says "NOTICE We Only Serve Burgers." (See Themes - Illiteracy)

Day One sees The King in the Squadallah Burger drive-thru, and after deep contemplation, asks for a pizza. Gwomam pops up to remark that there isn't a pizza (See Themes - Illiteracy). At this, The King (clearly having his mind already set on a pizza) drives off to Duke Onkled's diner, who offers The King a pizza.

Day Two sees Light (of the anime Death Note) ask for a potato chip as he drives through in his car. (See Themes - Illiteracy) Gwomam pops up again to say that there isn't a potato chip. DAMN IT!!!. Duke Onkled can be seen in the distance with a canister of pringles (See Themes - Conspiracy) and Light drives off.

Day Three sees Mario and Luigi (with no car) come up to the window as Luigi vocalizes the hope that Link has made 'lotsa' spaghetti. (See Themes - Illiteracy) Link (now apparently done with the training of Gwomam) says they do not, at which Mario sees Onkled in the distance with a plate of spaghetti. It is implied that the pair went to Duke Onkled's diner.

Day Four sees Link, now clearly frustrated, demanding that Doctor Rabbit buy something. (Doctor Rabbit being censored by Colgate). Doctor Rabbit, not expressing a desire for anything, simply runs off, leaving Link to yell a profanity at his retreating back.

Day Five sees a severed, enlarged Mario Head at the window (to the slight shock of Link) asking for Pizza Pie. (See Themes - Illiteracy) Link, once again, can only say no and watch the disappointed head float off.

Payday arrives, with Link under the impression that he would indeed get paid. Presumably because of the failure to sell anything, however, Gwomam says that there are no rupees to pay him with, leaving a confused Link to sadly mull over the fact that he still can not get a PS3. (See Themes - The Mistreatment of the Labor Force) Curiously, both The King and Zelda laugh at Link's misfortune. (See Themes - The Mistreatment of the Labor Force) The video ends with ominous music as an oddly happy-looking King is shown. (See Themes - Conspiracy).

ThemesEdit

There are several themes at play in Link Gets a Job at Gwonam's Restaurant So He Can Earn Enough Money to Buy a Playstation 3. Under the guise of a simple video of less than two minutes describing the unfortunate tale of a man failing to earn the rupees to buy a PS3, there are actually many relevant, touchy social issues which are touched on.

RacismEdit

When Link is first offered the PS3, he says he does not have enough rupees. Morshu seemed to get mad at this and called Link "A little piece of poop". Given Morshu is an obese man, it is likely he was perturbed at having to get up and get the PS3 out to show Link, only to be unable to make the sale. However, it must be noted that a piece of poop is usually brown in color, making this perhaps a racial slur against black people. Link is clearly white, so it is not a direct insult, but a common racial stereotype of black people is that they are poor. When Morshu learned that Link did not have enough rupees for the PS3, it is possible he subconsciously grouped him in with a race of people he considers to be 'poor' and of a lesser standing than others. That is, because Link appears to be poor, to Morshu he is no better than a black person, or may as well be one.

This implies the character Morshu is racist to some degree. Given his apparent age, it is likely that Morshu has seen abundant racism in his past. He may remember the days before the civil rights movement, when looking down upon black people was considered acceptable. He would not be the first to fall prey to these misgivings, many elderly people have never been able to shed their racism entirely. It is indeed sad that this is true, for so many have been blinded by a past of hatred that they can not give themselves entirely to the new age of equal rights. Morshu must be one of these characters, and should be pitied for it, not persecuted, as is more likely. What may happen to this Morshu character is unknown, as the rest of this complex tale was never told.

It should also be noted that Morshu refuses to give credit to customers, implying a distrust of everyone but himself, although it is possibly he only refuses to give credit to those he deems to be of lower class (Black people and Link). When a customer does not have the funds to purchase something, he instructs them to come back when they're a little richer, implying a desire to be among only the wealthy in his shop and banishing those who are impoverished from even being within his store. These selfish traits may reveal a side of Morshu not commonly thought of the jolly, portly man.

Alpha Dog LeadershipEdit

When Link is voices his frustrations and depression over not getting a PS3, The King says that "This Wii is what all true warriors strive for." While an innocent comment on the surface, there is a lot more to it than meets the eye.

First, note the use of the word 'this' opposed to 'a'. This indicates The King is referring to a specific Wii, opposed to just any Wii. Presumably, this is referring to The King's Wii, as 'this' implies that he is referring to a Wii that he can point out in some way in the immediate area. If he was referring to a Wii in another area, he likely would have used the word 'that'. It is possible the word 'this' could be used to discuss another Wii, but it would only make sense is the Wii at hand was being discussed beforehand, and there is no evidence of this. Furthermore, we must assume The King has a Wii, due to his strong endorsement of it and the large funds he must have at his disposal.

Furthermore, based on The King's strong endorsement of the Wii, we must assume he is fond of it and neither wishes to give it away or loan it out. However, when talking to Link, he clearly says that "this" Wii is what all true warriors strive for. Meaning his Wii. So what does he mean here?

Well, next, note his use of the phrase 'True Warriors'. Does he mean to imply Link is not a True Warrior? Is it a casual lowblow? Or is this odd language simply how The King usually talks? One other possibility is that the Wii is representative of much more. Perhaps, in his great respect for the system, he considers it a symbol for his kingdom's rule. That is to say, he who holds the Wii rules the kingdom. A true warrior would wish to one day be the king of Hyrule, in his mind. Note that The King does not appear to have an heir. He has no wife to anyone's knowledge, and his only child is a girl, better suited for remaining in the kitchen to make grilled cheese sandwiches for the king. Perhaps The King is subconsciously wishing that Link would desire a Wii instead of a PS3. Or rather, 'this' Wii, which is a symbol of the king, thus making Link the King should he get it.

The final part of this sentence, however, casts things in a new light. He specifically says 'strive for'. To strive for something is to attempt, to exert great effort, to try with all your might, but not necessarily achieve. The King seems to indicate that Link should attempt to get his Wii, but does not indicate that he will give it away or allow it to be taken. Rather, the indication is that Link will have to go to great lengths to get it. Which makes sense, given The King is clearly fond of his Wii and would probably fight to keep it. What if the Wii is taken to represent the conch from Lord of the Flies? An object to be held by the leader, the possessor ruling the domain. Is The King challenging Link to try and take his Wii, so that they may fight for it, and thus fight for Hyrule.

Why would The King desire this? Is he perhaps intimidated by Link, who will become only more powerful as time goes by while The King's strength will decline with old age? If so, he may wish to do away with Link before the tides turn in their relationship, and intends to goad him on into attacking to take the Wii now, before a successful coup could be guaranteed. Or is it a taunt? Perhaps The King merely wishes to rub in the fact that he is The King (made evident by his ownership of the Wii), while Link is merely a subservient soldier of him. Or perhaps he merely means to encourage him to strive for his Wii, so one day, when he can no longer rule, Link may come into possession of the Wii opposed to the many other greedy hands that will certainly attempt to get it.

Regardless, it seems very likely this comment is an Alpha Dog issue. The Wii is representative of leadership, and if Link desires to ascend the food chain, he must strive to possess it and eventually take it. Whether or not The King wants Link to possess the Wii is not clear, but there is no doubt the Wii would have taken a much more significant role in future sequels to this poop if they had been made. If one is to parallel this tale to that of The Hobbit, you could say the Wii is equivalent to The Ring of Power, the finding of which is a minor subplot in the first installment and becomes the central plot device in The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Link, however, seems blissfully unaware of the subtext here, remarking only that he can't use the controller and wants a PS3. Link is known to be childish and immature, and this only further indicates he is not yet mentally mature enough to become The King. In a show of brilliant foresight by The King, by the time Link is mature enough to understand this comment for what it really is, he will be mature enough to act on the comment and become King of Hyrule.

The Mistreatment of The Labor ForceEdit

We are almost immediately introduced to the fact that Link can not afford a PS3. This seems odd, as it is known Link is considered the among the mightiest warriors, if not the mightiest, in the service of The King. As it takes great discipline to be a great warrior, it is safe to assume Link has not frittered away his earnings through gambling or an addiction to alcohol. Since he is shown to fancy Zelda, he is unlikely to have spent large amounts on pleasurable company, as Zelda is a princess and could use her power to discover this subterfuge.

So we arrive to another conclusion: The King is severely underpaying his subjects. Really, this should be obvious from the beginning. Link is always seen wearing a simple green tunic, clearly unable to afford anything else. Also, throughout his adventures, he is forced to barter goods or services in exchange for equipment to be used to defeat enemies. These endeavors are made necessary by The King supplying him with as little as possible to save money, putting his greatest warrior at risk. If any further proof is required, Link once remarked before a dinner in Hyrule Castle that he was "so hungry, he could eat an octorok!", which seems like a strange thing to say for a mighty warrior of the Kingdom of Hyrule. For a man to be truly that hungry, he must have either gone without food for a long period of time or been inadequately fed at a previous meal. It is suspected that The King has cut costs by either giving Link smaller portions, been forcing him to skip meals altogether, or simply not giving him enough money to adequately feed himself.

The King is quite unhelpful when Link voices a desire to own a PS3, though this may be out of loyalty to his Wii. Zelda, on the other hand, seems to harbor no distaste toward the PS3, but does not offer to assist Link either. Zelda, being the Princess of Hyrule, would certainly have the riches to buy Link one or the influence to demand he be given one for free, but instead instructs him to get a job. In this, she shows a spoiled brat side to her personality, uninterested in the plight of her subject and a lack of gratitude towards Link for his great services to The Kingdom of Hyrule. For all of Link's efforts to fight for Hyrule, it would seem The King and Zelda view him as nothing more than a tool to be used.

This is not the only time this theme is prevalent in this tale. At the end, Link has concluded five days of work for Gwonam, laboring at the drive-thru. Nothing was sold, but this was an error on the part of Gwonam, who failed to supply the foodstuffs desired by the customers that week. Indeed, it seems foolhardy for a restaurant to offer only burgers, and Link can not be held accountable for this, as he did work all the same. Ultimately, Gwonam does not pay Link, claiming that there are no rupees to pay him with. While it's true that no profit was turned that week, it is the responsibility of the owner to pay his employees regardless, and eat a loss in the hopes of future gains. Yet Gwonam callously and selfishly believes that he can simply refuse to pay Link when nothing is sold. Clearly, this was not part of the original agreement, as Link is well aware he sold nothing and still is excited on payday in anticipation of rupees.

What's more, it seems, Gwonam does appear to get away with this. Link does not bring his mistreatment to a union or to a courtroom, but can do little more than stand there and accept it. Even the highest authority in Hyrule (The King) seem to laugh at his plight. Here is Link, the greatest warrior in Hyrule, undervalued and overworked all his life, reducing himself to peasant work to earn some spending rupees, and the people he serves do nothing but giggle when he is stiffed. It is probable that, in future sequels, a embittered Link would have seeked revenge against Gwomam, The King, and Zelda. This conflict is no doubt symbolic of the need for workers' unions, of which Link would likely have created to go on strike with in a sequel.

IlliteracyEdit

In spite of a note outside Squadallah Burger, clearly stating that only burgers are served, several people attempt to order something else before leaving. This indicates an inability to read, or an inability to comprehend the meaning of what has been read.

Little is known about the school system in Hyrule, but this would indicate that it is quite poor, as several people of a reasonable age continue to act as if the sign is not there and attempt to order things that can not be ordered. If the citizens of Hyrule can not even understand this much, one can only imagine how poor their math, writing, and other such skills have been developed.

This seems like a minor element of this tale, but all the above themes tie in to spell an ugly truth regarding Hyrule. Racist characters have been placed in positions of power, able to supply goods to only those they deem worthy with impunity. A King immature and foolish enough to endow a video game system as a symbol of the kingdom and challenging his best warrior to a seemingly childish grapple for this object. An undervaluing of the work force, even those at the top, which will certainly lead to strikes that will grind Hyrule's economy to a halt. And a terrible school system, meaning things are bad for the future as a generation of stupid Hyrulians are brought up. So as we see, Hyrule is really a terrible place. Royalty may enjoy the life of luxury, but only at the expense of all their subjects, who seem to be decaying into a stew of scum. Many Kings and Queens of past have made the mistake of mistreating their subjects for too long, and they were sometimes rebelled against and killed.

I've already discussed several potential directions a sequel could have gone in. But there is no doubt in my mind that this would have been the final chapter of this saga. Hyrule is in ruins. The streets are caked with filth, yet the impoverished citizens are all forced to reside on them, desperate for even a small bit of shelter from the elements. Food is scarce, a vast majority of it being given to The King for his mighty feasts. Diseases run rampant, killing off the population quicker than it can be restored. And nobody in Hyrule is intelligent enough to fix it.

But even the simplest mind knows how to get angry. Soon, one man stands up against The King. He may be cut down, but others will follow in his path. They may be cut down as well, but eventually, a veritable army of subjects will march against the gluttonous King, screaming of the great Kingdom he has run into ruin, all attempting to lay the blow that will end the terrible reign of King Harkinian.

Will they succeed? That I can not say, but let there be no doubt that this is where this story was heading.

However, The King has shown himself to be a smart man, and I believe this final theme may have shown he was one step ahead of this...

ConspiracyEdit

In the first cut of the video, WalrusGuy asked the viewers if they could spot the hidden traitor. Though only on screen for a split second and hard to see, Gwonam could be witnessed inside Duke Onkled's Diner when Onkled is shown holding the can of pringles. At best, this might indicate Gwonam is willing to admit his restaurant is inferior to Duke Onkled's, or that he simply desires to eat something that isn't a burger. More realisticially, though, this is indicative of a conspiracy that runs deep through the infastructure of Hyrule, of which Link is the fall guy.

Based on Gwonam's appearance inside Duke Onkled's Diner, it can be assumed that Gwonam does not particularly care if his restaurant succeeds, nor does he care about the clear rivalry between the two eateries. So why would he have a restaurant at all?

There are many theories for this, none of which jump out as obvious. However, the end of the video, with The King giving an evil grin after finding of Link's misfortune, indicate he is in on the ruse. Or perhaps, even the creator of it.

What if Squadallah Burger exists as a sort of fall guy to Duke Onkled's Diner? After all, it makes no sense for a restaurant to only serve burgers. Even a customer who desires a burger would also probably want a salad, or fries, or a drink, or some other side to go with it. So, since Squadallah Burger could not have possibly been created with profit in mind, perhaps it is only there to boost Duke Onkled's Diner. That is, next to Squadallah Burger's terrible incompetence, Duke Onkled's Diner looks like the greatest restaurant ever built. Not to say it isn't great on it's own, but Squadallah Burger makes it look even better. With the subjects fooled into believing Duke Onkled's Diner is better than it is, prices can be raised and morale of the subjects can be kept up.

Let there be no doubt that Hyrule is crumbling, as stated above. But ultimately, the key to The King is the happiness of the subjects. If they are happy, even if that happiness is created by ignorance, then The King is safe. A restaurant viewed as one of extreme quality can do that, so thus Duke Onkled's Diner is the key to the future of The King. But for this illusion to continue, Squadallah Burger must be kept active, ever useless, ever deplorable. Even though it may never sell so much as a single burger, it must be kept up and running for as long as The King wishes to remain safe from his subjects.

So it requires one employee to stand there, day after day, week after week, giving the appearance of an actual restaurant. This person could have been anyone, and likely would have been a peasant, if not for a unique opportunity that presented itself in Link desiring a PS3. And so, Link was given the job at Squadallah Burger, which presented multiple advantages.

Link would never leave his job at Squadallah Burger, no matter how futile it was. For his desire for a PS3 was so great, that if he did not get one, he indicated he would kill himself. Thus, he would return every business day to Squadallah Burger, no matter how many years went by without a sale, in a desperate to make rupees. After all, Gwonam presented a prophecy claiming that only Gwonam could hire Link. Making it quite pointless for Link to pursue employment elsewhere, if Gwonam was the only one who would hire him. This brings up, arguably, another theme of false religion, if it is to be believed that Gwonam's prophecy was a lie concocted by he and The King to manipulate Link.

And now, Link will never be able to get that PS3, also of advantage to The King who is obviously very fond of his Wii and probably has no desire for a PS3 to enter his castle. And so, with these advantages, Link is the fall guy for this whole dastardly plot. Let no one forget just how much of an evil genius The King is. His plan is flawless, well thought out, and without so much as a second of concern to anyone but himself. Certainly, he and Zelda will enjoy the rest of their days in luxury, as the subjects toil in horrible conditions but tolerate it all for the oasis of Duke Onkled's Diner, and Link is left to rot in the service of Squadallah Burger.

TranscriptEdit

Within Morshu's shop

<Morshu> PS3. You want it?
<Link> Yeah!
<Morshu> It's yours my friend, as long as you have enough rupees.
<Link> Of course not!
<Morshu> Link, you're a little piece of poop.

Within Hyrule Castle

<Link> I can't go on like this. I need a PS3.
<King> My boy, this Wii is what all true warriors strive for.
<Link> But I can't use the controller. I need a PS3.
<Zelda> Get a job.

Outside Squadallah Burger

<Gwonam> Welcome to Squadallah Burger, may I take your order.
<Link> No, I need a job.
<Gwonam> It is written, only I can hire Link.
<Link> Great!

Day 1

<Link> Hey, what do you want to eat?
<King> Hmm...I'll take the...Hmm....I'll take the pizza.
<Gwonam> There is no pizza.
<King> Enough! I'm going to Duke Onkled's Diner.
<Link> Huh?
<Onkled> Your omnipotence, have pizza!
<King> You serve me.

Day 2

<Light> I'll take a potato chip.
<Gwonam> There is no potato chip.
<Light> Dammit!

Day 3

<Luigi> I hope you made lotsa spaghetti!
<Link> No.
<Mario> Luigi, look!

Day 4

<Link> Buy something from here.
<DoctorRabbit> No!
<Link> Fuck you, Doctor Rabbit.

Day 5

<Link> Hey! Mario head!
<MarioHead> Do you have any pizza pie?
<Link> No.
<MarioHead> *makes vroom sound as he flies away*

Payday, within Hyrule Castle

<Link> Oh boy! I can't wait for my rupees!
<Gwonam> No, there is no moneyyyyy-
<Link> Huh?
<Gwonam>-eyyyyyy-
<Link> Huh?
<Gwonam>-eyyyyyy-
<Link> Huhhhhhhhh?
<Gwonam>-eyyyyyy.
<Link> No rupees?
<Gwonam> No.
<Link> No PS3.
<KingAndZelda> *laugh*

NotesEdit

This Youtube Poop is widely regarded to be among the greatest ever created, not only for the humor and deep intellectual thought it sparks in a mere 110 seconds, but the high quality of the sentence splicing. Though many of the lines spoken in the video are far removed from anything that was said within the actual CD-I games, virtually every sentence is as clearly spoken as you can be expected in a youtube poop. Particularly one that very strictly uses only voice sound bytes from a particular character for that characters lines, opposed to mixing and matching voices from various characters.

In spite of there only being two sentences spoken in the game by Morshu, WalrusGuy was able to get him to say both "PS3", and "Link, you're a little piece of poop" with strong clarity and without using voices of other characters or outside sources.

The only minor sound clarity issues occur when Zelda tells Link to "Get a Job" which is choppy and unclear, when Gwonam claims that "Only he can hire Link", which arguably sounds closer to "fire Link" and also sounds choppy, and Gwonam saying that "There is no rupees", in which the word rupee is mysteriously stretched out.

Also of notable quality is the video. Opposed to using only stock cutscenes, WalrusGuy has the characters placed in foreign locations and situations. Link and Gwonam are shown within Squadallah Burger, as Duke Onkled is shown inside Duke Onkled's Diner, and the other characters interact with this. The King and Light are shown driving in rudimentary cars through the drive thrus, although the window of The King's castle can be seen behind him in the car. Morshu is shown holding out a PS3 in the first shot of the video.

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