Old greg
From Wikitubia
| I've got a mangina! I'm Old Greeeeeeegg! | |
| Video #002 | |
| Link: | watch |
|---|---|
| User: | philisdead4 |
| Date Added: | September 23, 2007 |
| Length: | 06:55 |
| Description: | Howard and Old Gregg meet |
| Category: | Comedy |
| Tags: | Old Greg |
| Views: | 02337475 |
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| Previous: | Masterchief in Mad tv |
| Next: | none |
Old Gregg (posted on Youtube by philisdead4) is a fictional character portrayed by Noel Fielding. He was created for the "The Legend of Old Gregg", a 2005 episode of the TV series, The Mighty Boosh. He later went on to appear in the 2006 stage show, The Mighty Boosh. The name of the character is derived from an incident where a friend of Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding's, while at a festival in the middle of the night, heard a girl named Jessi Kennedy yelling "I'm Old Gregg!".
Old Gregg is a transsexual merman who occasionally refers to his vagina (which emits a blinding light) as his "mangina." He inhabits a cave below the lake in a village called Black Lake. Old Gregg is extremely fond of Bailey's Irish Cream, as well as being a watercolor painter. Old Gregg falls in love with Howard, even though Howard is annoyed with him. He sings a song with him entitled "Love Games", chronicling his obsession and Howard's reluctance.
Old Gregg is first seen in the 2005 episode, "The Legend of Old Gregg" in which he meets and falls in love with Howard; who is then rescued by Vince. Old Gregg then joins Howard in the 2006 stage show, after tracking him down and having himself delivered in a box, where they sing a rendition of "Love Games" and are later seen kissing. Old Gregg last appeared in deleted scene from the 2007 episode, "Party", disguised as a woman who has taken a liking to Howard.
==Old Gregg Transcript==
Howard: Got something. I've got something! Ha! Come to Papa Moon. That's it, come on. (grunts)
Old Gregg: Hi there.
Howard: Who are you?
Old Gregg: I'm Old Greg. Pleased to meet you.
Howard: What do you want?
Old Gregg: Maybe I should ask you the same question. What you doing in my waters?
Howard: Just taking the air, you know. Not fishing!
Old Gregg: Then how come there's hooks in my head, fool?
Howard: It's nothing to do with me, sir.
Old Gregg: It's attached to your rod, motherlicker!
Howard: Don't kill me, I've got so much to give.
Old Gregg: Easy now fuzzy little man peach. Hmm? You ever drunk Bailey's from a shoe?
Howard: What?
Old Gregg: Wanna come to a club where people wee on each other?
Howard: No?
Old Gregg: I'm gonna hurt you.
Howard: Excuse me?
Old Gregg: I like you. What do you think of me?
Howard: I don't know rightly know, sir.
Old Gregg: Make an assessment.
Howard: I think you're a nice, modern gentleman.
Old Gregg: Don't lie to me boy!
Howard: I'm not lying!
Old Gregg: I know what you're thinking. Here comes Old Gregg, he's a scaly man-fish. You don't know me. You don't know what I got. I got something to show you. (bright light shines) You know what that is? That's Old Gregg's vagina. I've got a mangina! I'M OLD GREEEEEEEEGG! (Echoes)
(at Gregg's place)
Howard: What's happening?
Old Gregg: I'm Old Gregg.
Howard: What?
Old Gregg: I'm Old Gregg!
Howard: Where am I?
Old Gregg: Gregg's place. You've been asleep. Do you want a little drinky? I'll get you a drink. You like Bailey's? Mmmm... creamy. Soft, creamy beige.
Howard: Mmmm... delicious.
Old Gregg: Do you like Old Gregg's place? I've got all things that are good.
Howard: You've done some nice things with it.
Old Gregg: I've got this. This is good.
Howard: That's nice.
Old Gregg: You can have it.
Howard: I'm fine thanks.
Old Gregg: I'll keep it here for you.
Howard: Well, is this the way... out? Ummm, I better be scootin'. Got meetings and a friend of mine is waiting, so perhaps I should be...
Old Gregg: Why are you going? We got everything we need here. We got Bailey's... creamy. And everything we need. I'll get you another Bailey's.
Howard: I'm fine, thanks.
Old Gregg: I do watercolors.
Howard: Do you?
Old Gregg: Let me show you something. I call that one Old Gregg. And then that one I call Old Gregg. And this one, you know what I call that one?
Howard: Old Gregg?
Old Gregg: Yes sir, thank you sir. I got some more. I got these 2. That one's Bailey's. That one's Bailey's a bit bigger. And that one's as close as you can get to Bailey's without your eyes getting wet.
Howard: Mmm, that is quite a portfolio you've got going on there. But I really should be heading up, so it's been good.
Old Gregg: We could do some watercolors together. You and I.
Howard: Well, that sounds like great fun. Let's do it in the week then Gregg.
Old Gregg: What do you mean?
Howard: What, you free Thursday at all?
Old Gregg: Why can't we do it now?
Howard: Well, you know I'm a busy man Gregg. You know, I got things to do. Howard Moon, man about town. (laughs awkwardly)
Old Gregg: Do you love me?
Howard: Oh dear.
Old Gregg: Do you love me?
Howard: Umm, gonna have to pretend I didn't hear that Gregg.
Old Gregg: You think you could ever love me?
Howard:Uh, it doesn't really work like that, Gregg.
Old Gregg: How does it work? Tell me how it works.
Howard: Well, you get to know someone, you hang out, you see where that goes. This, that, the other, eventually... you know. I don't know you!
Old Gregg: You know me. Hmm? What about the boat times?
Howard: That wasn't really a time, was it Gregg? That was more of just a... an exposure.
Old Gregg: That was our first date. Hmm? You pulled me up with your strong arms!
Howard: Oh dear, look Greg I don't know you!
Old Gregg: Oh, you know me. You've seen my downstairs mix-up.
Howard: Yeah, I didn't ask to see that, did I?
Old Gregg: What it did mean for you to see that. Did it mean you loved me?
Howard: No, I didn't.
Old Gregg: Could you learn to love me?
Howard: No, I couldn't. I don't love you!
Old Gregg: You do love me.
Howard: No, I don't!
Old Gregg: You do love me.
Howard: No, I don't.
Old Gregg: You love me and you've seen me and you know me. I'm Old Gregg!
Howard: Yeah, I know you are. You've told me 80 or 90 times now.
Old Gregg: You must love me exactly as I love you.
Howard: Well, I don't love you and to be honest you're starting to get on my nerves a bit now. If anything I find you slightly pathetic, so deal with that!
Old Gregg: Maybe I will deal with it. Hmm? Maybe I'll deal with it the way I dealt with Curly Jefferson!
Howard: You know what Gregg? Maybe I was being a bit hasty there, uh, when I said I didn't love you. Perhaps now in this light with you in the tu-tu and the water playing off your... seaweed. Maybe I could love you. Maybe I was lying because when you do love someone sometimes you say you don't because you're playing hard to get, playing a game.
Old Gregg: Games?
Howard: Yeah, I was just playing a game with you.
Old Gregg: Love games?
Howard: That's right, love games, Gregg.
(funky music starts)
Old Gregg: Love games?
Old Gregg: (starts singing) Do you love me?
Are you playing your love games with me?
I just want to know what to do, 'cause I need your love a lot, oh come on now.
Do you love me?
Are you playing your love games with me?
I just want to know what to do, 'cause I need your love a lot, oh come on now.
Howard: Moving too fast, this isn't a race.
Mmmmm baby, back off, and lower the pace now.
Slow it down and give me some space, mmmmm.
Moving too fast, this isn't a race.
Old Gregg: Do you love me?
Are you playing your love games with me?
I just want to know what to do, 'cause I need your love a lot, oh come on now.
Howard: Moving too fast, this isn't a race.
Mmmm baby, back off, and lower the pace now.
Slow it down and give me some space, mmmmm.
Moving too fast, this isn't a race.
Old Gregg: I'm Old Gregg!
Howard: I know, I think you saaaaid.
Old Gregg: Come on, don't make me beg now.
'Cause I'm not your regular guy!
Both: Don't be shy! Do you love me?
