Transcript

whilst Sailin' 'Pon the 'Rizon Theme is sung, a UFO can be seen flying away from it's planet, and eventually galaxy, into the Milky Way, and into the Solar System. A Singer is singing the Theme, but a Murderer shoots him and he collapses, dead.

The UFO crashes onto Earth. The Manly Man walks along, claiming he loves "these Summer mornings." The ground begins to shake and he falls over. He manages to stand up, but is scared by a huge UFO nearby. An Alien with a large green head and one eye can be seen with some Dogs, holding a missile launcher. The Manly Man is scared by this. The Alien shoots a missile, which flies towards the Manly Man and hits him. He then sulks on the ground.

The Manly Man is now sitting on an excersize ball and narrating the story. He claims that is what would've happened if that happened, but reality happened. He claims that the UFO, the Alien and the missile were real, but it didn't actually hit him. He then takes a look at what actually happened.

The missile speeds towards the Manly Man. A cloaked man with a staff appears and dashes towards him. The man hits the missile of course and taps his staff. The Manly Man demands to know his identity and he claims to be Gimberweld the Grey. He asks the Manly Man if he would like to see his dance. The Manly Man is distraught by this, but Gimberweld goes on does some form of jig. The Manly Man points out there's an Alien on their trail. Gimberweld asks if he means "that one over there", pointing to where the Alien stands, right next to the Manly Man. The Manly Man asks for Gimberweld's help, but the wizard claims that he needs to go to the toilet and that the Manly Man can do it himself.

The Alien grabs the Manly Man and begins to pull him away. He soon finds something on the floor that he claims to be the Enchanted LEGO Piece of Loveliness. He uses it to summon a Dalek. The Dalek travels to his place on the LEGO piece, wearing a top hat. The Manly Man asks the Dalek for help but the Dalek declines, claiming he would rather serve the Emperor of Thailand and flies off. He is distruaght that not even the LEGO piece can save him, but soon finds a tennis racquet. It is actually a metal pole, but he claims it'll do. He then knocks the Alien's head off with it.

The Manly Man is narrating again, and is now wearing green cellophane which he claims to be his reptilian gown which he made from the Alien's skin. He then skips a couple of hours later.

The Manly Man is commenting on how he loves his new reptilian gown. He sees a troll and makes the gown hide. The troll approaches, carrying a sword and demands that the Manly Man give him all of his sweets, who claims he will fend him off with a stick. They begin an epic sword fight, the end result being the Manly Man badly injuring the Troll's hand, who manages to steal the stick and hit the Manly Man to the floor. He begins to maul him, whilst Are You the One by The Presets plays.

Narrating once more, the Manly Man claims that there shouldn't always be "depressing cloudly music" going on and instead changes to the track to LDN by Lily Allen.

The Troll continues to maul the Manly Man.

In an outside bin, the Manly Man wakes and pops his head out. He is very scared and goes back in for an insepction. A Cat on the roof looks down and someone screams. He pops out of the adjacent bin and says "this looks like the end". He goes back in for another inspection. He pops out of the original bin and is very scared. Another man sticks his head out of the adjacent bin adn says "Hello", leaving the Manly Man screaming.

The Manly Man is once again narrating, now with his reptilian gown stuffed down his shirt. He claims he could tell the rest of the story, but he'd rather not, as it is his bed time.

Credits

Starting

• The residence of the Schade family presents...
• A film by Oscar Chadwick-Pask and Nicholas Schade...
• Starring Oscar Chadwick-Pask and Nicholas Schade...
• "Sailin' 'Pon the 'Rizon" (NOT LITERALLY)

Ending

• Credits
• Created by Nicholas Schade and Oscar Chadwick-Pask
• CAST
• Singer/The Manly Man - Oscar Chadwick-Pask
• Murderer/Alien/Gimberweld/Dalek Voice/Bin Man - Nicholas Schade
• Troll - Benjamin Schade
• SECONDARY CAST
• Odd Dog - Ducky
• Another Odd Dog - Jack
• The Cat - Curtikins
• Featuring the Songs...
• Sailin' 'Pon the 'Rizon (NOT LITERALLY) Theme
• Forever Young - Youth Group
• Lord of the Rings Hero Theme
• The Benny Hill Show Theme
• Doctor Who Tom Baker Theme
• Are You the One - The Presets
• LDN - Lily Allen
• The Bannana Splits and Friends Show Theme
• Cameramen...
• Oscar Chadwick-Pask
• Nicholas Schade
• Benjamin Schade
• Props Supervised by...
• Nicholas Schade
• Oscar Chadwick-Pask
• Benjamin Schade
• The Wilhelm Scream is property of the BBC
• Daleks are a registered trademark of the BBC
• LEGO is a registered trademark of LEGO
• We did not have the right to show this movie

Notes

• The Sailin' 'Pon the 'Rizon Theme goes

I sailed to East and I sailed to West But none of those experiences can beat Yes, the feeling of just Sailin' 'Pon the 'Rizon Yes, just Sailin' 'Pon the 'Rizon Oh, yes, Sailin' 'Pon the 'Rizon Sailin' 'Pon the 'Rizon But none can beat the joy of, yes Sailin' 'Pon the 'Rizon Yeah, Sailin' 'Pon the 'Rizon Sailin' 'Pon the 'Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizon Sailin' 'Pon' The 'Rizon Yes just Sailin' 'Pon the 'Rizon 'Sailin 'Pon the 'Rizon Yes, just Sailin' 'Pon the 'Riiiiiiiiiiiiizon Sailin' 'Pon the 'Rizon Sailin' 'Pon the 'Rizon Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm Hmmmm Hmmmmm

• The UFO was a 2D paper on a paddle-pop stick
• The backgrounds were paper
• Nick's hand can be seen
• The UFO was filmed on a trampoline, the zoom-in, zoom-out effects were done by someone bouncing on it.
• Nick's hand can be seen holding the missile.
• Oscar can be heard saying "Stop it" and "Stop filming"
• Oscar accidentally calls the flying saucer a sying faucer
• The scene where Nick laughs was originally going to feature him dancing, but he laughed at this and therefore couldn't dance.
• When Gimberweld goes to the toilet, he was going to wear his cape, but they couldn't fit it back on.
• The scene where the Alien pulls the Manly Man is done in multiple takes where, if the Alien can be seen, then the Manly Man films and holds out his hand to be pulled and if the Manly Man is is being filmed, the opposite.
• Oscar accidentally refers to the Enchanted LEGO Piece of Loveliness as the Enchanted LEGO Piece of Wonderfulness.
• A scene is accidentally put in of the camera filming the ground. Oscar can be heard saying "And then it films and you and you just go pooof!"
• Nick's head can be seen under the Alien mask.
• Oscar claims the next scene will be in NightShot, but it isn't.
• The Imperial March is used, but isn't credited.
• The Wilhelm Scream is used.
• Ben can be heard saying "Action".
• Oscar says "Oh, my fucking tree," marking the first use of innapropriate language in beentoschoolnurse's clips.
• "Oh, my fucking tree," is a reference to Larence Leung's Choose Your Own Adventure.
• This is, along with Tramploine of Doom and The Truth Behin Clouds, one of few beentoschoolnurse clips not to have a sequel or prequel.
• This is the longest beentoschoolnurse clip.